Tim Dowling's World Cup diary

guardian.co.uk by Tim Dowling

Sepp Blatter is an anagram of 'Bladder Test' – almost

Today is the first day of the World Cup with no actual matches in it, leaving us with nothing much to do but lower the flame under the rolling boil of our enthusiasm in preparation for . . . wait a minute – there aren't any matches tomorrow, either. Can that be right? Why would you have a two-day break in the middle of a huge global sporting event? Are they trying to encourage me to develop other interests?

As it was I spent most of yesterday morning working out that "Sepp Blatter" is an anagram of "Bladder Test", provided one is permitted to turn the Ps upside down to make Ds, which, in this day and age, I think is only fair. Freestyle letter rotation is the way forward. It will revolutionise Scrabble, for a start.

▶ I suppose we can fill the gap with more recrimination and hand-wringing, but I'm ready for a little holiday from England's ceaseless World Cup campaign. After watching the team de-plane yesterday morning, looking like a herd of hungover estate agents, I made a personal declaration to let go. Then I read Fabio Capello's top tips for the 2014 squad. He too needs to let go. Or be let go. Whichever. I don't care because I've let go already.

▶ Lots of people seem to be cashing out their fond investment in England's hopes for glory this week, carrying whatever remains over to Wimbledon, but it's not a straightforward proposition. There's a big exchange rate difference between English and British sporting hopes, and trading English pride for the Scottish equivalent is, as far as I can work out, vaguely illegal. And even at this late stage, you should be aware that your investment could just as easily go down as up. Again.

This is perhaps why my children have taken to watching the tennis while lying prone on the floor, as if braced for disappointment. Or maybe it's just because it's hot. They don't answer when I ask.

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